This is your first time, right? A wedding is the biggest event you are about to organize, myriads of important decisions and all. So make no mistake- you’re bound to make some!
Everyone does. We are human beings, and that’s ok.
There was a wedding once, WAIT FOR IT, of a wedding planner and a wedding photographer. You know what happened? They forgot a shot list and failed to incorporate some very important shots, with her siblings for example.
One may view it as a horrible mistake that speaks of their (un)professionalism, while in reality, it’s about two people with feelings and all, who give themselves a permission slip to make such mistakes at the very emotional event of their life. So liberating.
Use Humor… But Use Your Common Sense as Well
So, what’s the big deal then? Why would anyone fret if you end up with the second-best tulle veil instead of the chiffon silk one? Or your DJ plays a wrong song for the first dance?
There’s not a single problem you can’t dust off with the speck of humor. Or a very solid plan B. Whatever your approach, try to think of some common sense situations that you’d better be prepared for.
Case in point- the length of your dress.
This actually happened to my friend- she appointed the tailor, my aunt, over the phone for a custom short dress while forgetting to mention she’s pregnant. The seamstress went along with her wishes and made it the shortest possible. When she came to town for a dress nearing her due date, it was a shock for everyone. There wasn’t any time for alterations. She wore it as a tunic.
So, when you’re choosing the dress, change all possible positions- raise your hands and try dancing like that, swirl, jump, sit down as well. You’ll be able to cover cellulite (hello, hairspray!), but you won’t be able to cover your underwear.
Speaking of, once my other friend wore the most beautiful gown to a church wedding that came through as a see-through!! It showed in all the photos. She was desperate but learned the lesson. Always check the light.
It applies to the make up palette, and foundation and blush as well. In case you’re not hiring a professional.
I won’t mention things like- don’t forget to greet all your guests personally, don’t be late for appointments or don’t dash from the celebration immediately. They fall under common sense.
But I’ll for sure say- check the maximum number of people your venue can accommodate according to the state laws and don’t invite more people hoping naively that majority will decline. You never know.
I’ll also say make sure to acquire the proper marriage license. Especially if you’re planning to elope. Don’t just expect you’ll show up in Paris like “Hi, we’re here. What, we need some papers??” Yes, it’s sarcasm, but you get the point.
Other than that, I’ll give you the lists just as a gentle reminder of what is important in the process.
Don’t do anything before setting the date, then the budget, followed by the guest list and a venue. Especially don’t buy the dress before any of that.
Don’t dismiss the idea of hiring a wedding planner altogether.
Don’t succumb to the trendy whims. They are passing. Choose you, but an upgraded version. In all aspects.
Don’t overlook transportation and snacks for out-of-towners. And meals for vendors.
Don’t be frugal with gifts for your bridal party. You can’t match their expenses indeed, but that’s not the point. Just make sure that your gifts reflect gratitude and respect.
Don’t hire your family or friends to be cake bakers, photographers or florists. You’ll definitely regret this one. A wedding is not Instagram. There are so many things to consider.
Don’t micromanage the vendors. Better think it through before hiring them. Ask all the questions in the world beforehand. Once you choose them, try hard(er) to relinquish control.
Don’t invite non-wedding guests to your pre-wedding festivities. Unless these are the people who are unable to attend the wedding but are nevertheless invited.
Don’t over-tan yourself. Fake and orange, hello Trump. You don’t want this.
Do think of ALL the hidden costs when planning a budget (including last-minute gown alterations, deliveries and so on).
Do consider hiring a planner for at list one week before the wedding, when the craziness goes through the roof.
Do have the chosen location in mind when planning the decor. For example, if you pick this wedding venue in Houston, which is secluded on a private ranch and lends nature as a beautiful setting, you don’t have to go overboard trying to overshadow it. Just go with its natural flow. That way you’ll have more money for other important things.
Do have a different floral scenario in mind, in case your dreamed one blows the budget. Ask for alternatives and choose what is season-friendly. Splurge on your bouquet if you must.
Do plan a seating chart with single people in mind. Mix ‘n’ match your guests according to their common interest or something you know they’ll connect over. Also, put the older crown away from music where they can talk.
Also, check if music is too loud en général. You want people to be able to say something, for not everyone will dance.
Do send the thank-you notes as early as you can. If you hand-write them, even better!
And for God’s sake, do have fun!
Joy is what you’ll remember.
So think long and hard about the thing that brings joy to you as a couple. If it’s tangible, like music, you know where you should place your focus.
And if it’s the celebration with the loved ones itself…well, you are one lucky person who truly gets the words gratitude and happiness.